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Why is my girlfriend so damn weird? Seriously, sometimes I think she's legally insane. (Show)
-- Kurt, Kansas State
Surprisingly, Kurt, we don't actually know your girlfriend (unless of course she was that cute little red-head in the black mini-skirt, white tube-top, and leopard-print thong that was dancing on the bar at AskTheCollegeGuy.com headquarters last night). And since you've given virtually no details or examples for why you think your girlfriend is a few beers short of a 6-pack, even the all-knowing AskTheCollegeGuy.com writers and editors can't venture a guess. So, in addition to using your vague question to remind all our readers to PROVIDE DETAILS in all future questions, we're going to use your question to vent/hypothesize about why people are so screwed up these days in general - regardless of whether or not this actually applies to your girlfriend. (Read more)
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I was wondering if you have any advice for living with a roommate of the opposite sex. I'm a girl and will soon be living with a guy. A lot of people are telling me they think we'll hook up, etc. but I think that would be really weird. I want to insure that we keep our roommate relationship totally platonic and happy, so what's the easiest way to tell him that I'm not interested in being anything but roommates and friends? (Show)
-- Roxy, Colorado State University
Probably the easiest way to tell him that you're not interested in being anything but roommates and friends is to say "Hey, I don't want us to be anything but roommates and friends."
But seriously, just don't get into the "mixed signals" department. Make sure you're body language isn't sending a different message than you're intending him to receive. If you have a tendency to be flirty or touchy-feely with guys, make a conscious effort NOT to do so with this guy. Have guys over, talk about your boyfriends, and treat him like one of your girlfriends -- unless you have a tendency to makeout with your girlfriends. (Read More)
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What is a toga party? Do people really wear togas?(Show)
-- Mr. Clueless, San Jose State University
Great! Another dumbass who believed his parents and teachers when they said there's no such thing as a stupid question. We have received thousands of e-mails over the years that indisputably prove that your parents and teachers were lying to you. Not only are there stupid questions, but there are many stupid people as well. (Read More)
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How do I get a lightbulb out of my ass without it breaking?(Show)
-- Anal Retentive, SUNY Albany
That depends on how you got the lightbulb in your ass without breaking it. (Oh how proud Thomas Edison would be!) (Read More)
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Should I ask my roommate about in-room masturbation?(Show)
-- Incoming Freshman, Vanderbilt
Ah, good ol' masturbation...(Read More)
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What Turns A Guy On?(Show)
-- Looking for the secret, Tulsa
What turns a guy on?!?? Are you serious?(Read More)
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My daughter is homesick... What should I do?(Show)
-- Concerned mom of a Rutgers' freshman
Please be aware that if you are reading this response, you are witnessing history! Throughout our existence, AskTheCollegeGuy.com has NEVER answered a question from a parent. For starters, there aren't too many parents who even read our column in the first place. And any e-mails we do receive from parents are usually written by naive parents who are certain that their son or daughter has never been drunk, would never skip a class, and would never even consider having premarital sex. So these parents end up hating us when we shatter their image of their innocent sons and daughters by explaining what really goes on at college. So anyway, we've never had a question from a parent that was really worth acknowledging.... until now! (Read More)
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IN 69 Words Or Less
In response to all you ritalin-popping, A.D.D. Jackasses out there who say our responses are too long for you to read, here are a few questions with shorter, no-attention-span-required, straight-to-the-point responses... (Read More) |
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Why do they always put beautiful women on the cover of men's magazines? I think that's shameful... and an exploitation of women?(Show)
-- Stacy, Wilmington College
First of all, if you're offended by those magazines, you should check out the ones they keep behind the counter in the plastic-wrap (or you can just check the box at the back of your dad's closet). Anyway, Stacy, you're entitled to your opinion - although we think it's shameful that you would call this shameful - but let's talk about your concerns for a minute or six. We're confident that we can not only convince you that it's not our fault, but we're gonna try to turn it around and show you that it's actually YOUR fault. So here goes....(Read More)
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What should i do if i have a grudge against the school mascot? Should i fight him or what?(Show)
-- Mad At Mascot, Georgia Southern University
Are you in a room with padded walls right now? Just wondering. Anyway, we've got some bad news for you. At the risk of getting ourselves in legal trouble (like that school teacher who was sued for telling her 6-year-old students there's no such thing as Santa Clause), we're going to hit you with some shocking news. We realize this may be a preposterous suggestion, but what if, just WHAT IF your mascot isn't a real eagle? We know this might defy all logic, but what if it's actually just another student dressed up in an eagle costume? Further, it might not always be the same student. Further, it might even be, gulp, a girl in there!(Read More)
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